This Will Put a Twinkle in Your Eye!

In tears, Mary Clancy went up to Father O’Grady after the nine o’clock Mass.
He asks, “So what’s bothering you, Mary my dear?”
She replies, “Oh, Father, I’ve got terrible news. My husband passed away last night.”
The priest says, “Oh, Mary, that’s terrible. Tell me, did he have any last requests?”
She says, “That he did, Father. He said, ‘Please, Mary, put down that damn gun.’”

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A mother with a fidgety 7-year old boy told me how she finally got her son to sit still and be quiet. About halfway through the sermon, she leaned over and whispered, “If you don’t be quiet, Father is going to lose his place and will have to start his sermon all over again!”


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Never iron a four-leaf clover, because you don't want to press your luck.